My Little Control Group

I was reading recently about a Harvard research scientist who studies the cognitive abilities of babies and toddlers. For the last 30 years, they've been doing a variety of experiments on young children and they've actually determined that we are born with certain facts about the world. For instance, when babies were encouraged to crawl along a glass panel over a solid platform, they crawled along just fine. But they refused to continue crawling where the glass began to extend out over the end of the solid platform, proving that they don't need an actual cliff-diving experience to know that cliff-diving is not a good sport for babies.

All this hypothesizing about babies' brains may seem boring to most people, but, as a mother of twins, I'm very interested in the way babies think and what motivates them to behave a certain way. Especially because, with twins, you get to experience on a daily basis differences in personality and behavior between two children who have very similar outside influences. It's like your own little control group.

Take, for instance, the difference between Locke's and Lola's comfort level with strangers. Lola has an understandable wariness when approached by a new face. She's always been more cautious and tends to attach herself to Mommy when she finds herself in an unfamiliar environment or situation. Locke, on the other hand, seeks the attention of others. Anyone and everyone. We found out the extent of his desire to attract attention on several outings on our recent trip. Every time we went to a restaurant, Locke would immediately seek his first target -- usually an older woman (and by older, I mean over 13). He'd then proceed to grin his biggest grin and wave at them until they either smiled and waved back or, better yet, came over to talk to him. It worked like a charm on most occasions. By the end of the trip he'd developed the coy over-the-shoulder grin with a wave and eyelash bat to boot. He even got us a table at a very crowded restaurant by launching his attack on a young hostess.

I've always tried to understand the huge differences between Lola and Locke. Kelly and I are aware of the way our behavior toward them can impact their personalities. So we try to treat them similarly, while giving them the individual attention they need. For instance, we don't roughhouse with Locke and treat Lola with kid gloves. We roughhouse with both of them and treat them both with kid gloves (but not all at the same time -- that would be difficult). So are all of the differences between them innate? That would mean that there are inherent differences between the way the two sexes think. Nah, that can't be true.

There is only one parent-caused factor I can point to that could affect their behavior: their assigned stroller seats. Back in March, we bought a new double stroller with front and back seating. The back seat is slightly elevated for a better view and, because it is situated in between the front seat and me, it is more insulated. Since early on, Lola has ridden in the back most often for several reasons: 1) I feel like she feels more protected from strangers that come up to see the twins (something that happens quite often), and 2) when she rides in front, Locke kicks her seat and pulls her hair. Now I wonder if this arrangement hasn't contributed to their attitude toward strangers. Locke has always been out there in front, feeding off the smiles and praise while Lola has been more isolated and safe.

So, I've embarked on a little experiment of my own. I've switched their seats.

On our last stroll, Lola sat upright, smiling into the oncoming breeze, singing at the top of her lungs and waving at no one in particular. I think my experiment is working.